BORED.

i fucking hate everyone.

I think I'm one of those people who are incapable of letting ANYTHING go.
I hold on to anything and everything, as long as I can complain about it..
but the happy things, what are those? I wouldn't know cause I don't bother to pay attention
to anything remotely positive.
I'm doing this on purpose, but I have no idea why.
I guess to brace myself for the worst, cause it seems anytime I'm hopeful..anytime I look on the bright side...
Something goes wrong...and I don't mean any little mishap, I mean something devastating
And I can't take it.
I fucking cannot take it.

Life isn't exactly perfect these days.
I have the shittiest grades in school, I'm barely holding on to my scholarship
I'm in a relationship where I can't even focus on who I'm in it with because there are so many outsiders coming in, ruining everything in the process.
I don't know.
I would really love some time off from everything and everyone and just be on my own
So I can figure myself out..and come to peace with certain things that have been eating away at me.
I can wish and want and hope for that break, but it'll never come cause no one will let me
And that's another reason why I'm in such shitty moods all the time, I can't fucking do ANYTHING without someone having something to say about it.

Whatever.

tomorrow should be great.

I know I am a perfectly sane individual.
I do not hear voices or hallucinate anything of that nature.
My mind was not playing some sort of trick.
I know in my heart what exactly happened and no one can challenge that.

All I have to say is that I know for a fact that God, souls and Heaven do exist.

yea i changed it to friends only.